August 1796<\/p>\n
Do you not think that after all the anxiety I have lately known on your Account, I kissed the letter and placed it in my Bosom, which told me that you were quietly <\/em>living among all the tumults which sur\u00adround you<\/span>1<\/sup><\/a><\/span>. The first of June was also a later date than I expected, and from some other circumstances also this dear letter conveys a greater Joy to my Heart than any I <\/strong>have recieved since we parted. You love me, and yet call me dearest<\/em>\u2014<\/em>The <\/em>longer I live and more I reflect and know how to value the realities of Friendship, the more precious that distinction becomes, and. I look forward to the dear Hope that my Sweet Child<\/span>2<\/sup><\/a><\/span> will also enjoy it\u2014You need not fear to lose me\u2014no my Sad <\/em>every hour I <\/strong>pass shows me the Instability of every expectation which is not founded on reason. I have learnt to commune with my own Heart, and I try to govern it by reflection, and yet that Heart grows every day more tender and softened, which 1 in great measure I attrib\u00adute to the state of my Williams Health<\/span>3<\/sup><\/a><\/span>, that Health on which my every Hope of Happiness depends and which continues me either the most perfect Human <\/em>felicity or sinks me in the lowest depths of sor\u00adrow\u2014That Health certainly does not mend and I often think very much decreases, and altho’ it is my fixed principle both as a Christian and a reasonable Being never to dwell on thoughts of future events which do not depend on myself, yet I never view the setting sun or take a solitary walk but melancholy tries to seize me, and if I did not fly to my little Treasure<\/span>4<\/sup><\/a><\/span> and make her call Papa and kiss me a thousand times I should forget myself\u2014This disposition is also increased by the expectation of another precious Sharer of my self<\/span>5<\/sup><\/a><\/span> whether it be happy or the reverse; therefore my Sad I am become a looker-up which is certainly the only remedy for my description of sorrow. Yes dear Sad <\/em>I shall have an Ang[el] in each hand to recieve you\u2014and how will you express your emotion\u2014who will you fix your eye on\u2014how often will you say dear dear Eliza\u2014<\/p>\n Next November will be the month of my confinement and in that time how many thoughts of my Sad will be mixed with others dear and interesting. Mama Fiter has no longer the same cares and attentions for me, without being particularly the reverse. My William dines and sups with her constantly and every office of good will and kindness is fulfiled quietly and uniformly. It is all right and perhaps the failure on her part <\/em>is greatly owing to my not having the same leisure I once had for Intercourse of a different discription\u2014But on my Part <\/em>my Sad (You are not to be decieved) I am Irrecoverably lost to Her and where Esteem does not exist how can I express friendship\u2014the moon might as well meet the Sun\u2014but be assured I never will forget that she is in Years\u2014a Stranger\u2014and has fought many a hard battle for me added to which her kindness and attention have been those of a Mother, feel\u00ading these things as I do, do not fear\u2014<\/p>\n Julia<\/span>6<\/sup><\/a><\/span> is a little vain Shadow and never Interests me but when she is in sickness or sorrow\u2014then I fly to her, hold her in my Bosom till the Storm is past, and only care enough for her to hold the chain together until it comes round again W.C.<\/span>7<\/sup><\/a><\/span> is the best and most valuable Male Friend I have in the world except my two bests<\/span>8<\/sup><\/a><\/span>, I do not know his equal and never before saw a man who I would so readily choose for a Brother[.] every body who knows him thinks well of him and he rather seems to enjoy the respect given to a man of forty, settled in Life than the passing Approbation generally bestowed on men so young and in-experienced\u2014<\/p>\n Do you know that it is two months since I have written to you and yet those months are spent in scenes familiar to you and which forever remind me of you. I cannot Spell <\/em>you the place that is past my art, but it is certainly one of the pleasantest and best calculated for real retirement of any I ever met with. You remember your situ\u00adation on Long Island<\/span>9<\/sup><\/a><\/span> with Mrs.White[.]<\/span>10<\/sup><\/a><\/span> I am about two miles nearer the Narrows<\/span>11<\/sup><\/a><\/span>, enjoying every comfort of the country with\u00adout a single Interruption of visitors, servants or any other diffi\u00adculty\u2014My Will<\/span>12<\/sup><\/a><\/span> comes three times a week, and when the moon shines every evening\u2014<\/p>\n You are surprised to hear we are not at Mr. [John] Wilkes or rather I believe you forsaw it would be so\u2014however my William has man\u00adaged it so as not to give offence and my Daughter having the Lax<\/span>13<\/sup><\/a><\/span> with cutting her teeth made the necessity for Sea-air evident\u2014I never before enjoyed the pleasures of the country so perfectly. Sister Post<\/span>14<\/sup><\/a><\/span> is within a hundred yards on one side and if I but had you my Sad, <\/em>the other I should have every charm of society\u2014My Father is Health offi\u00adcer of New York and runs down in his Boat very often to see us, and when he meets me and little love he says there never was such a pair, that he sees no such cheerful welcome expression in any other eyes in the world\u2014You may believe it for there never was truer affection in any Heart than in Mine towards him\u2014<\/p>\n